Sometimes we do not recognize our need to grieve. It’s not always about losing a loved one in some way. We might lose our health, change jobs, move from one place to another. We might have to give up a hobby or a dream or a favorite car. We might feel that we have lost an opportunity or a connection of some sort. Maybe your life or your relationship or your work has not turned out the way you had hoped and all you lost was the image of what that was to have been. The question is, how do we name it? How do we access the pain? And how can we do that in a healthy way that will promote healing instead of further misery?
I’m sure there is more than one way, but I attended a meeting of the Atlanta Spiritual Formation Collective where the speaker used a psalm to show us how to deal with grieving by allowing us the opportunity to lament. Psalm 3 was written by David when he had to flee from his son Absolom. Running away from his kingdom and his home because his own son was determined to oust him, I’m sure David was keenly aware of many reasons to grieve. His psalm was used as a template which we first read in its entirety.
Psalm 3 (NIV)
A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom.
1 O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!
2 Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” Selah
3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high.
4 I cry out loud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. Selah
5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
6 I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.
7 Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.
8 From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah
After a few moments of silence we were encouraged to then consider one line at a time. The speaker read the first line and we were given 5 to 10 minutes to respond to it and its corresponding suggestion. Our response could be in silent prayer or by journaling, which I found helped me to focus. I believe one woman sketched her responses.
After the brief time of silence, the speaker read the second line with its corresponding suggestion, and so on, with ample response time given after each line. Take what time you need. And if your time is limited, I expect you could respond to just one line a day. The most important element is honesty; as long as you are honest, you will find what you seek.
• “A Psalm of (your name). When I…”
Identify a situation in your life that is troubling you.
• “O Lord, how many are my foes…”
Describe your struggle or conflict.
• “Many are saying of me…”
Describe the criticisms that other people, Satan or your own internal critic are using to judge you.
• “But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high.” Picture the Spirit of Christ surrounding you to protect you.
• “I cry out loud to the Lord, and he answers me…”
Give thanks to God for the good and redemptive things he’s doing for you in the spiritual reality of His Kingdom.
• “I lie down and sleep… I will not fear… ”
Pray to trust God for peace and protection.
• “Arise, O Lord!… Strike all my enemies…”
Tell God, the Righteous Judge and your Deliverer, your feelings of anger or hurt and what you want you want him to do.
• “From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be upon…”
Ask for God’s blessing for you, loved ones, and even the people troubling you.
Exercise © 2019 www.SoulShepherding.org